BIG PICTURE STUFF
Over the past year I’ve been earnestly seeking the Lord’s will for me. I have a job I’ve been in for going on 9 years. It has changed some, but essentially it’s the same. The biggest part was stepping out of a direct supervisory role. My innate tendencies are at odds with the agency I work for. I didn’t “grow up” in their environment and thus still see it from an outsiders perspective. I think this confuses my superiors. It may be more annoyance and frustration and I’m projecting.
One of the very surprising side effects of this little 30 day challenge is how my mood has improved. The cathartic work of putting my ideas down into words has been immensely gratifying. So much so that I spent some time at work yesterday writing and vetting the various tasks I needed to accomplish along with other work I’ve been thinking of doing and then working out priorities from there. Nice and orderly like. Oh, and some tasks at home that really need doing too, but I’ve been procrastinating on.
Yes, I realize I’m rambling, but it’s my party and I’ll ramble if I want to.
WHERE I GET TO MY POINT
In all seriousness, I sense I’m doing something I should have been doing. Eric Liddle, the missionary to China and Olympic athlete famously said: “I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” I don’t know yet if writing is my purpose. I’ve desired many things in my life that led to near ruin, so I will not be too quick to pronounce anything.
I’ve wanted to write for years. I’ve picked it up off and on. In fact I remember wanting to write a book when I was in the 6th grade. Needless to say that didn’t happen.
GK Chesterton once said “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” The link we help you understand what he meant by that, because it is quite profound. He was challenging the idea of the professional being preferred over the amateur. The amateur does something for the love of it, not necessarily because it makes money. Think of the role of a mom. Who is really the best to care for her children, the mom who is fully emotionally invested or a professional day care worker? See the dilemma?
In fact part of the reason I changed this blog to “Amateur Anglican” was the effect of reading Os Guinnesses’s book The Call. Os quotes GK talking about the nature of work. If you love doing something, you need not be the best at it. And what you do to “earn money” can many times be comepletly disconnected from your vocation or calling.
The other reason I changed it was to put myself in my room off the main hall as CS Lewis puts it. I’m looking forward to immersing myself in the Ancient Ways. To look to the Christians who came before us, the paths they trod and the stories they tell us. We are still in the Acts of the Apostles my friends: because we serve a God of the Living, not the dead.